If an End of the World Zombie Apocalypse Were to Occur, I Would be Screwed
Monday, February 14, 2011 at 7:46AM
I like to think that I am a resourceful individual. I would like to think that I have the gumption and strong survival instincts to live through any end-of-the-world-disaster that looms overhead in 2012 - I mean if John Cusack can, then I certainly have a fighting chance. I would like to think that if I were cast in a horror flick/end of the world action thriller that my bubbly personality and comedic wit would keep my alive. The more likely reality is that I will say something sassy or ridiculous like “ohh if I see one of those alien space invaders I am going to kick their butt” before getting zapped and go down with some zinger like “aint that some shit”.
The truth of the matter is that I do not know how to hunt – or generally shoot a gun -, I am not wilderness savvy, my medical knowledge consists of Grey’s Anatomy story lines, and the most epic battle I have ever gotten into is completing a dungeon raid in World of Warcraft. If the impending 2012 doomsday is going to occur then I need to spend 2011 making me somewhat competent in the fine art of surviving the post-apocalyptic world. My greatest asset at the moment is my extensive knowledge of science fiction/fantasy books and TV shows – I could certainly gleam lessons from these experiences; such as finding the one and only weakness of the alien/robot hybrid. Years of watching the SyFy channel might ultimately pay off in the end.
All I know is that if a major catastrophe occurs that renders the earth a desolate wasteland full of rival biker gang groups and nomadic rebels, I hope that I end up playing the role of Tina Turner in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and get to rock the ridiculously large hoop earrings. I’m just saying, if the world ends, I still plan on living it in style as a big old overlord queen.




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