Last night, I guest appeared on the Utility Players newest "Awkward Moments" podcast episode entitled The Tax Man Cometh. Scott Gasquoine, CPA with High Desert Accounting Resources (HDAR),served as our special guest for the show. HDAR has signed on as an official sponsor for the Utility Players' 4th season. Having Scott on the show last night served as reminder that I have avoided doing my taxes for the past month. Initially, I was waiting for all of my paperwork to filter in. However, now that that is no longer an obstacle in my way, one would assume I would get cracking on my taxes. No ... I won't. I say that I will and will have every intention of submitting my tax return early. Invariably, what will happen is I will wait until April 12th, see my W-2 sitting unobtrusively on my desk, remember that the deadline is the 15th, freak out, rush through my taxes, and pray that I answered all of the questions completely ... and honestly.

Scott got me thinking on the podcast yesterday about whether or not I might need a CPA. I always assumed that you needed a CPA's help when juggling mortgages, small children, deductions, write-offs, businesses, and the such. I don't really own anything - my assets include a feathered headdress and an extensive sci-fi fantasy book collection -, I thankfully don't have small swaddling infants, nor do I have to deal with filing jointly with my partner. So the questions is; do I really need one? It might be nice though to have a resource to answer my inane and stupid questions about what classifies a deduction and what doesn't.  

Either way, Scott was a fantastic addition to the show last night. A master of early 90s alternative rock, Scott impressed us all with his comedic wit. I also saw a blossoming bromance relationship brewing between Scott and host Ian Sorensen. I believed Ian's eyes started to tear up as Scott described his favorite bands and I thought they were going to make a date to go to a record store and point their favorite albums to one another. It was adorable to witness; may I just say I am a big fan of the bromance.

Check out the podcast below; we discussed everything from taxes to the complete and utter tragedy that was the Oscars. I want on another one my epic rants defending the Midwest and its people. Hope you enjoy.

As the only gay guy in the office - and most assuredly the only drag queen - I constantly am finding moments that demonstrate my difference from the rest of the pack. Not necessarily in a "us vs. them" mentality, more of I am a 24 year old, Disney Channel loving, Broadway Musical singing, power-bottom, drag queen in an office full of .... well ... not that.

Hallways, like elevators, are breeding grounds for uncomfortable and awkward moments. The set up in our office is such that our kitchen is disconnected from the rest of the office thus forcing us to go out into the hallway in order to traverse the 10 feet to get there. Now, as the only office on our floor, one would assume that the possibility for an awkward moment would be slim. However, we also happen to be on the floor that connects to the garage and therefore we bear witness to a never-ending parade of traffic from all the other floors. I should also happen to mention that our office building is full of "suits" whether they be lawyers, investment bankers, or financial managers.  
 
For no particular reason, I often find myself breaking into song – I know weird and unexpected. This is normally not a problem until yesterday when I came out the kitchen singing Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” and just happened to be singing - well more like belting - “Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight” when a stuffy guy in a suit whom I am sure has never heard of Katy Perry walked by; not one of my finest moments, but I think I peeked his interest a little bit ;)

Last night I had the esteem pleasure to have a one-on-one intimate sit down with "Awkward Moments" host Mr. Ian Sorensen. I was excited for the opportunity. Ian and I have such an amazing rapport on stage, I was intrigued to see what a podcast with just the two of us would look like - but me being the drag queen that I am, knew I would love the attention. With no formal plan or set list in place, Ian and I just had a free-flowing conversation. We discussed everything from Johnny Weir's not-so-shocking coming out announcement to the newly-coined phrase "second hand lazy". I had an absolutely amazing time and think the podcast turned out fabulously. Hope you enjoy the episode and stayed tuned for some more Awkward Moments from the Utility Players.

It's devastating that this happened in general, but the fact that it happened in public - and at a Kmart no less - just made it worse.

Last night, some friends and I decided to make a random trip to Kmart. Not really needing anything inparticular but excited for the opportunity for some retail therapy, I decided to come along. While perusing the shelves, I came across their weight/workout/exercise equipment section. At the moment I am trying to piece together a workout facility in my basement - convinced that I will never get off my ass to go the gym. So I decided to get some free weights, a yoga mat, and some exercise bands - nothing too ridiculous but just some fabulous accessories. I finished shopping - adding to my cart a random assortment of food products, toiletries, and household goods - and proceeded to check out. The cashier - though nice is forever on my shit list - begins to scan my items and about halfway through looks at my exercise equipment and goes;

"New Years Resolution huh" with an all-knowing smile.

Ummmm squeeze me? Can I help you? What are you trying to say? That just because I am a plus-sized girl and I happen to be buying gym equipment that I obviously made a New Years Resolution to myself to lose weight. Here I am the ambitious fat girl buying random exercise equipment in some vain hope to make 2011 the year that I get in shape. In the immortal words of the one Miss Tyra Banks "Bitch you don't know me, you don't know where I come from". I don't care who you are, you just don't say those things. Even if I had a plethora of weight loss supplements and an Idiot's Guide to Losing Weight stacked next to an O Magazine with the headline "How to keep those New Year's Resolutions", YOU STILL DON'T SAY THAT SHIT.  

Now at this point, all of the industrious Kmart employees somehow gravitated to this one checkout station so that everyone could bear witness to the comment. I, of course, had to play it off as if I had no idea what she is talking about. Excuse me honey it is JANUARY 11TH this is obviously not a New Years Resolution or I would have come in here A WEEK AGO to buy the equipment.  With that being said ... I'm excited for my new gym equipment and hope that 2011 is the year that I finally get in shape ;)

This past weekend I sat down with fellow Utility Players Ian Sorensen and Amanda Alvey as we discussed our New Years Resolutions - or in some cases our lack thereof. In my typical fashion I went on a long-winded but delicious diatribe about the ridiculousness of creating New Years Resolutions. We generate a lengthy list of goals and ambitions for ourselves for the upcoming year and valiantly attempt to achieve said goals. More often than not we fail miserably, feel bad about ourselves, and then have to spend the rest of the year justifying to ourselves and those around us why we did not follow through on our New Years Resolutions. Why do I want to put myself through that horribly disappointing experience? Sure I could say that I am going to lose weight, eat better, become famous, live forever, give up my vices, read more, watch less TV, blah blah blah blah blah. However to be honest these are my goals everyday of my life and not solely reserved for New Years. If I do decide to make any resolutions I will be probably keep said resolutions to myself as to have others place expectations upon me, but for the sake of social propriety I plan on reading more, loosing weight, and travel more. :) Enjoy the podcast!! 

Last night I got together with fellow members of the Utility Players - Ian Sorensen, Amanda Alvey, and Jessica Levity - as we wrapped up our Christmas experiences. I love working with the Utility Players - voted Reno's best comedy troupe in 2010. Their contagious energy and infectious humor make even the simplest things - like doing a podcast - an enjoyable and unforgettable experience. At the moment, we as the Utility Players are at the center of a creative flow. I am working on developing my blog, Ariel Lea just released her debut album, Ian Sorensen is crafting some amazing stand-up, and Amanda continues to take Reno by storm with her theatrical talents and abilities. I am blessed to be part of such a creative group that allows for this little drag queen to do her thing.

Make sure to listen to the most recent "Awkward Moments" podcast. The podcast is a random hodgepodge of news articles, personal anecdotes, and quick quips that hopefully will keep you entertained. We have also introduced a new recurring segment called "Ginger's Diatribes" - where in 60 seconds I improv a rant about some particular subject. This time around I ranted about my holiday travel experiences which overall were less than stellar. Enjoy!!!