So now I am 25 - and for all intents and purposes I shall remain the tender age of 25. I learned a few things over this past weekend - the pearls of wisdom that come with age

(1) Saturday night I went out and decided to live my life like it was straight out of a Ke$ha song - glitter included. It was remarkable and amazingly fun, however the next morning when I woke up, the world was not quite as fun and cherry as I remember it being before going to bed. My body just does not respond to booze the same way. It now takes me all day to recover from a night of excessive drinking. I have noticed that there are people that are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who can do this - multiple times a week in fact - and somehow manage to get up and function like everyone else. I'm not really sure how they do it; then I learned that they have been doing it their entire lives and their body has just learned to adapt over time.

(2) I learned this weekend that Fed-ex Kinkos could possibly be one of the worst-run businesses in the world. My roommate Jes, creator and producer of the Uitlity Players, called Kinkos one clandestine night to make copies for us when they dutifully informed us that they were unable to print anything ... but ...you're Fed-Ex. Isn't your primary responsibility, as a business, is to provide me the means by which to print things? Isn't that like "In & Out" saying that you can't get a burger because they don't have meat? So Jes and I had go down their ourselves and when the printer we were using jammed and stopped working, not a single employee would come and help us - one even went so far as to walk right by us as we told him the printer was broken. Perturbed, I walked over to the counter to find a band of incompetent morons discussing their break time. Eventually, Jes was able to fix the printer, with no assistance from the wonderful staff at Kinkos. Dear Kinkos, you suck at life, merge with another company please and suck even more.

(3) There is something about four men playing "The Golden Girls" that is so epic it defies explanation.

(4) People will surprise you with their gratitude, thoughtfulness and love on your birthday in ways that are truly beautiful.

(5) The rapture did not happen; try explaining that one family Christian radio. I guess your math skills are really atrocious. If the rapture did happen, I do believe the good lord came down, put up his/her feet and watched the show, and said "well gosh, that is some quality entertainment right there".

I really had a wonderful birthday weekend with so much love and blessings I cannot wait to see what the next 25 years of my life bring me - oh that's a scary thought.

 Aside from starring in a musical porno film with Matthew Morrison. Hmmm musical porno, I think I am on to a new creative endeavour here. It will fit in nicely with the new GLEE church I want to open - this church would also perform GLEE weddings.

 My fellow Renoites, you have another opportunity to catch the last TV show in Bruka's run of "Late Night TV Shows" - The Golden Girls.

This infamous television show featured some - if not the - funniest and smartest women in comedy and television; Betty White, Estelle Getty, Bea Arthur, and Rue McClanahan. These iconic women have left impressions on all us. For many us, these four women created a generation of gays and are responsible for the bright flames of our faggotry. In many ways, the show allowed for audience members to reminisce. What comes to mind for me when I think of the Golden Girls? Firstly, I think of staying up with my mother when I was young and watching episodes - like I said, a whole generation of gays.  When I came back to the show years later I found a greater appreciation for not only the humor but the strong social messages woven into the storylines. Four elderly women, all sexually active, struggling with such issues as divorce, gay siblings, pregnancy, sex, HIV/AIDS, suicide, and more. The four women shed light on struggles faced by the elderly - as well as many other populations in our society.  

We performed the episode, "the Artist", to a packed audience, who stood in awe of four men who were able to convincingly portray these characters. When Adam (Dorothy) first walked on stage, the audience went absolutely nuts. The mannerisms, the tone of voice, and the costume have all been worked and refined to get it as close as possible to the actual characters. Any who attend this show will not be disappointed. The show starts at 11:00pm at Bruka in the heart of downtown Reno, with doors opening at 10:30pm. Admission to the show is just a mere $5.   Hope to see you all there!!!

I have many grandiose fantasies about my future career in the entertainment arena; a touring drag show with Lady Gaga, an academy award winning performance with Meryl Streep, and being in a hit Broadway show with all the performers from GLEE just to name a few. Another one of my dreams is to have a theater showcase episodes from the Golden Girls and I would have the chance to don a pair of cushioney orthepedic tennis shoes, as myself and three other drag queens attempted to parody the iconic girls. That dream has finally come to fruition for me.

Bruka Theatre to close out their late night television show series wisely decided to put on the still ever popular Golden Girls, only with a slight twist; the "girls" would all be played by men. I came to learn that a number of major metropolitan cities including San Francisco, Chicago, and New York also do a version of "Golden Girls" live, so in some respects we are modeling ourselves after what other cities are doing. On the other hand, drag queens are few and far between in the Biggest Little City in the World and in some of those areas they are a dime a dozen.

I was cast to play the simple-minded Rose Nylund. What she lacks in higher cognitive functioning she makes up for in her kind heart and generous spirit. Rose Nylund was of course played by the infamous Betty White, who is the only living Golden Girl.

The episode Bruka decided to pick is called "The Artist". Lazzlo, a Hungarian artist shocwasing an exhibit at Blanche's museum, decided to ask Blanche to pose for him naked in order for him to sculpt the perfect woman. Throughout the episode, Lazzlo asks Rose and Dorothy to pose for him as well causing a ridiculous feud to occur.

We had a read through last night and it was absolutely ridiculous. The show does not lose anything with replacing the title roles with men; in fact we all thought it added an additional layer of humour to the episode. My hope is that this will do so well at Bruka that they will bring it back for their next season and do a run of it with maybe three or four episode instead of just the one.

My friend just texted me that the utterly fabulous Rue McClanahan has passed away early this morning. The Emmy Award Winning Actress, was an inspiration for all of us flamboyant, Southern debutantes out there. I remember watching Golden Girls with my mother when I was kid -which explains so much about the way I turned out - and instantly fell in love with her vulgar yet refined nature and a knack for expressing herself in the most dramatic fashion possible. Who could ever forget such classic lines as;

"Dorothy I am a jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo"

or

"Rose, a metaphor is when you say one thing and it means another. Like when I say men are blinded by my beauty, they're not actually blinded. They regain their sight in a few days"

or even

"Black .... Jeremy wasn't black he was from New Jersey. I went to my senior prom with a YANKEE!!!!"

I actually started to tear up a little bit when I heard the news. It's a weird sensation to grieve for a woman that I tragically never met in person. However the character she played was one that I aspire to be when I am 50, 60 years old. Blanche, and the rest of the Golden Girls, brought a new look and perspective to sexuality and the sensuality of older women. I often fantasize about retiring and moving to Miami with three of best friends and recreating the antics of the Golden Girls only replace four elderly women with four middle-aged gay men. It could be epic.

Here is one of my favorite scenes from the Golden Girls with Rue. I will always miss you Blanche :)

In the immortal words of the one Savage Garden "I knew I loved you Betty White, before I met you"

Betty White, one of my favorite idols of all time, is set to host Saturday Night Live tonight!! Accompanied by an impressive host of stars including Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer and Rachel Dratch - all of whom, interestingly enough, are mothers. The musical guest for the night is Jay-Z, which I'm not going to lie, I am a little less than thrilled about. Get Lady Gaga or Adam Lambert or Ricky Martin - somebody gay, fabulous, and fun to watch. I also have my Betty-White-Viewing-Party all lined up with appropriate snacks and Golden Girls episode lined up after SNL to watch and admire.

Although I have not stopped gay gasping since I heard the news, I am a little nervous about the episode tonight. I use to be an avid watcher of Saturday Night Live in the years of Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, and Cherri Oteri. The sketches were great with crisp writing and featured amazing musical and comedic guests for the night. I feel that SNL over the years have lost a little bit of that energy. So it is important to see how things shape up for this episode. You can have all of the amazing talent present on one stage but if the sketches are craptastic with marginal writing, nobody is going to be able to shine, even the infamous Betty White.

So while I am at auditions for A'DOLLed Fantasy, all I will be thinking about is White's opening monologue and how many potential hot and half naked men are going to make appearances throughout the run of the show. God bless you Betty White and your cougar self.

Make sure to check out Saturday Night Live for history in the making!!!!

I was having a fabulous night yesterday. The Utility Players went out and got three sponsorships for our 2nd Annual 420 celebration. On our last stop for the day, we went to this headshop/drag queen supercenter and I bought the most DELICIOUS red poufy petticoat and then I mowed down on a wet super burrito - all and all, it was a spectacular day. Then I received some positively devastating news. A girlfriend of mine texted me to tell me that the one and only Miss Dixie Carter has passed away.

Now Dixie Carter is a little old school, infamously known for her starring role as Julia Sugarbaker in the southern sitcom Designing Women. When the news was broken to me, I actually kind of got emotional and a little upset. Just loosing Bea Arthur a little bit ago and now miss Dixie Carter - many of my comedic role models are passing away. The first thing I thought about was how my mother and I use to watch Designing Women religiously while I was growing up. Definitely one of my roots in life. Most of the sitcoms and shows that I watched with my mother growing up have invariably found their way to the Lifetime Channel at some point including Designing Women, Murphy Brown, The Nanny, and Golden Girls.  It was here - as well with Golden Girls - that I started my appreciation for the southern debutant diva. This is where I picked up on her mannerisms and charm. At the tender age of 7, I had grandiose fantasies of living in Georgia or Texas, where all I would do all day is sit out on the veranda of my Victorian style home and watch my grandchildren play as I sipped a mint julep and fanned myself - the things every 7 year old daydreams about. I owe a great deal you fine southern women and I will also be grateful.

This morning, my roommate told me the greatest news I ever heard. It's official, Betty White - from Mary Tyler Moore Show, Golden Girls, and the Proposal - is set to host Saturday Night Live May 8th of this year. The booking is a direct result of a facebook campaign advocating for White to be on the show, states creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels.The epic event will also feature the return of SNL alumni Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Amy Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Ana Gasteyer, and Molly Shannon.

I cannot imagine what thy are going to come up with for the show or what White's monolgue is going to entail, but all I know is that it is going to be deliciously vulgar. I remember during the roast of William Shatner she came up with these epic lines:

"Bill and I are good friends, I was there to catch the bouquet at his wedding. Yeah I hope to live long enough to catch the cock ring at George Takei's wedding"

With Miss White hosting of SNL - supported by an impressive supporting cast of amazingly talented women - it might be the most epic SNL ever. I hope to god that there is a golden girls remake on the show!!

For the past couple of weeks, I have not stopped thinking about having a Golden Girls marathon. I feel that I need to pay homage to Bea - I mean I wore black for entire week, lit some candles, and re-watched my favorite episodes of Mauda & Golden Girls, but still. It is ridiculous to have such an emotional connection to that sictom - but I have no come across a gay man yet that  is not madly and obsessively in love with the Golden Girls. I remember watching the show for as along as I can remember along with Designing Women, Murphy Brown, and the Nanny - basically if it at one time or currently is showing on LifetimeTV I watched it with my mother.  The show was hilariously well-written and the relationships between Rue, Bea, Estelle, and Betty is incomparable I feel. On more than one occassion, my groups of friends have expressed an intense desire to end of their days in some Golden Girls esque fashion complete with ornery Italian mothers, cheesecake, and gentlemen callers. I'm not going to lie, I would make a pretty fierce Blanche Devereaux.

The show which ran from 1985 to 1992 was a hallmark television show with it's depiction of older women having sex, discussing abortions & gay rights, and painting a reality of getting older that conservatives did not necessarily agree with. In general the show tackled of wealth of social issues giving a voice to many. Of course the writing was my favorite part of the show, and here are a few of the best.

"I"m as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo." - Blanche

Blanche: "We're collecting lingerie for needy sexy people"

Blanche: I am abhorred!
Sophia: We know what you are Blanche. I'm glad to finally hear you admit it.
Blanche: Sophia, I said "abhorred".
Sophia: A whore, a slut, a tramp, it's all the same.

Thank Golden Girls for being one of my roots in life and serving as role models and icons in this little drag queen's life.