.... and by God I mean Nick Carter.

Couple of nights ago I fulfilled an old childhood dream of mine - to see the Backstreet Boys in concert. My friend Jeanine, as a belated birthday present, booked myself and a few of our dear friends a center orchestra booth for the show.

We of course began the night with the Grand Sierra Resort buffet, a time-honored tradition of our group. Once again, it was made blatantly obvious that most people do not know how to navigate a freaking buffet. Like deer caught in some mother effing headlights, people walk into a buffet, and instantly stop moving. Here's some advice - DON'T STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE WAY. Yes I understand that the 12 different salad options can be a bit overwhelming, but seriously.

We then slowly filtered our way into the theater amidst the gaggle of screaming pre-teen girls, the screaming women that were pre-teens a decade or so ago, hyperventilating gay boys, and the straight boys who seemed to have been dragged along by their girlfriends. Although, I am of the opinion that the straight boys actually wanted to be there. Deep down, I believe that everyone has a special place for boy bands in their heart.

The show had one opening act - somebody named ChristianTV. ChristianTV was a tall giant with a long mullet who hopped around the stage like one of those German jumper dancers. It's not that he was bad .... it's just that the best part of his act was the noticeably hot DJ wearing a fashionable gray suit and skinny tie. Apparently the crowd shared my sentiment, as only three girls stood up and cheered the mullet-loving, cheetah-print-wearing, hipster wannabe. Perhaps I am being critical, but only because he was standing between me and the Backstreet Boys.Also his hit song "When she turns 18" did not sit well with the target population of the audience. 

Finally the moment had arrived and the Boys took the stage, It was only 4 of the members - Kevin Richardson was not present ... but who really cares, no one really comes to a Backstreet Boys concert to see him, unfortunate, but true.

It was an incredible concert. Time has been good to the Boys. Though their hair was thinning a little and AJ was a little thicker, they still retain their dreamy good looks and I certainly would have pummeled everyone in my path to get to them.

They delivered a fantastic concert that did not disappoint old and new fans alike. I sometimes hate it at concerts when they don't play all of their hits and try to trick us and throw in some of their new material. NO, just give us what we want, then and only then, is it acceptable to send new material our way. When they broke into "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely" I literally burst into tears and sobbed like a little girl. It felt like a strange religious experience. This is what it must feel like when people find Jesus in their peanut butter tin. As they were singing, a rising sun background crept up the screen illuminating the gorgeous and chiseled features of Nick Carter. In the immortal words of my friend Nicole "I think one of my eggs just dropped!" It was a wonderful trip down memory lane to a time where the biggest debate of the day ws whether NSYNC or BSB was the best. I of course, being an equal opportunity employer, wanted both at the same time!

I hope that everyone has a fantastic 4th of July weekend!!!

Last night, some friends and I decided to celebrate a rather long week by emotionally eating our feelings. We felt that the best way to achieve that was through a casino buffet, but not just any casino buffet, the mother of all Reno buffets, the Grand Sierra Resort buffet. Halfway through the night I had the realization that going to this buffet was an event and spectacle in and of itself.

We arrived at the Grand Sierra with much anticipation. Although arriving at 6pm in the evening, the wait still stood at two hours – a marketing ploy to encourage us to gamble I'm sure. The wait outside of this buffet was epic, as if it were outside a large concert hall and a bunch of groupies are anxiously waiting for the band to come outside. We had the inside scoop that if we went and got our free players club card we could get the buffet at reduced cost [$7.77] – so obviously I signed up for one. Now we had our players club card, but still had about an hour and a half to wait, so the next natural step in this whole process is to pretend that you are gambling so you can scam free drinks from the bar. I don't really understand gambling or truly appreciate it. Maybe one day when I have oodles of money or a husband that enjoys watching me gambling away – and most likely loosing his money – than perhaps I will “get gambling”. For now, you can find me hauled up at the Wizard of Oz penny slot machine trying to amass my vast fortune. So after loosing about $15 and getting sufficiently trashed at the bar, our little buzzer went off alerting us that our long awaited dream was about to come true.

As we were sitting at dinner, we started discussing the art of buffets and how there is a lot of tactical strategy involved in the successful completion of a buffet – especially one of this magnitude. So here are a few tips and pointers for the buffet goer to get the most out of your experience.

1. First of all, it is important that you stake out the buffet and quickly contrive a mental map outlining where all the sections are. This allows for quick entry into and quick exit from the buffet with the least amount of traffic. It also helps you avoid any pitfalls or potential traffic jams – AKA the tub of shrimp counter – that might stand in your way.

2. Realize that you can take as many plates/trips as you would like. I know sometimes the sheer amount of food is overwhelming and there is an urge to attempt to fit THE WHOLE FUCKING BUFFET on your plate and end up having a mound of food forming an awkward triangle on your plate. We may be at a buffet where our sole purpose is to indulge in eating tons of food in some hedonistic fashion, but we are still civilized human beings.

3. Don't carbo load too early!!! Buffets are an endurance trial and therefore it is about longevity. Do not load up on bread rolls, pasta salads, and french fries too early in the night. Strategically incorporate your carbs throughout the night.

4. Do not load up on cheap crappy stuff. Clearly you did not come all the way to a buffet to load up on spaghetti and meatballs. If this is the case, then save yourself the $20, mow down on some spaghettios, and stay home. If you are going to a buffet, get your money's worth, and head immediately to the prime rib table. Why would you go anywhere else? Although fruit or a salad may seem like an acceptable side dish to get, invariably though it is a waste of space in your tummy that could be better used as space for prime rib or my three different kinds of potato byproducts.

So here just a few of the tips that I have picked up over my illustrious career of buffet frequenting. There is nothing more delicious or more American than a buffet that takes up three large rooms and offers me 8 different kinds of meat and 3 different potato options.