The answer is because it hates me and is somehow trying to send subliminal messages to get my ass off the couch and go outside and experience …. Nature … or something to that effect; haha silly Universe, in the age of Hulu, Youtube, Netflix, and a arsenal of free streaming TV websites I shall never go outside again! Today, I learned the epic crime drama series Southland – staring the vivacious Regina King and the incredibly studly Benjamin McKenzie – got canned. I have barely gotten over the trauma of learning “No Ordinary Family” got the axe as well as the less than popular comic book hero, the Cape – incidentally the final episode of the show didn’t even appear in syndication and the few and unfortunate fans of the show had to watch it online. My question is why? In an age, where the consumer is faced with numerous choices of what to watch, how is that trite and trivial shows staring coke-addicted meth heads – cough cough 2 and a half men cough cough – are able to survive for 8 seasons, while smart, intelligent shows with gripping characters are not even able to bust out one season – some don’t even make it past the 4^th episode.

There are a few consistent patterns that I have noticed with cancelled TV shows. In general, if your television shows happens to deal with aliens, super heroes, mutant powers, magic, witches, science fiction, or alternate universes you have a greater chance of being cancelled than your non sci-fi fantasy counterparts. Along the same line, if you your show is written and created by Joss Whedon it will probably be one of the most original and amazing shows you have ever seen … but regrettably your show won’t make it past the first season.  If you’re show has too many characters; individuals need to be invested in the characters and be able to relate to them. If you have too many characters with disjointed storylines, audiences might not care about them … and if they don’t care, then they won’t watch.

Are we lazy? It’s comical to refer to someone’s TV-watching behavior as lazy, but perhaps that is what it is. Do we not have the attention span to stay engaged in an hour long drama?  Do we instead gravitate toward a 20 minute sitcom, whose self-contained plots and storylines are primarily filled with comedic one-liners? We, as audience members, don’t necessarily need to know anything about the characters to appreciate the show nor do I need to watch the show with such a critical eye, like you have to do sometimes with dramas, to identity plot twists and the like. Perhaps people do not want to make the time and energy investment required to get into a drama. But dear god people, I can only watch so many TV sitcoms whose premise involves an unattractive guy, working a dead-end job, who is somehow married to a ridiculously beautiful woman, and the two of them have a litter of obnoxious and irresponsible children and a gaggle of irritating relatives that periodically show up. All this boils down to one question really; did everyone in fact love Ray, or did they merely tolerate him or at best mildly like him.

^{Right now it is Spring Break in Reno for college students, and although I am not a college student, the past couple of days I have been indulging myself in laziness and general slothfulness. Part of that entails me not getting out of bed and watching entire seasons of TV shows in one day. I borrowed seasons 2 and 5 from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What an epically amazing television show, full of great witty characters, complex and in-depth plot lines, and hot hot hot vampires to stare at in awe and wonder.}

^{Sci-Fi television shows are just not written and directed like this anymore. Buffy is produced by Joss Whedon – a monumental Titan in the world of Sci-Fi – who has produced such shows as Angel, Firefly, and Dollhouse. The show is dark, sometimes scary, and people certainly die but there is a sense of whimsical humor that comes out of the show. The world might be ending, but Buffy will make some pithy comment about how the demon just ruined her brand new coat.}

^{Aside from that, the two main vampires of the show – Angel & Spike – are ridiculously hot and are by far the best vampires in the history of portrayals of vampires in the world of entertainment. Vampires in Buffy are strong, but not so strong that they are unbeatable, beautiful seductive creatures but when they transform they are hideous demons, and when they die turn to dust – none of this I am going to explode in a nice spray of bloods, guts, and gore bullshit. Angel is the original tall, dark, brooding sexy vampire – so move over Edward Cullen, because you may be tall and brooding but most of the time you have a look of sheer constipation on your face and have a pasty emaciated figure, EAT A CHEESEBURGER! I also like that vampires are demons devoid of a soul and the only way for them to truly live this morally right existence is for them to have their soul put back into their body – a mentally and physically grueling process. No more of this vampire vegetarian bullshit. Are you kidding me? You are a beast from hell, with supernatural abilities, that loves hunting and killing humans and one day you are going to wake up and no longer have an appetite for it? Vampire Diaries, Twilight, and Tru Blood all touch upon this notion of restraint and control. That's what makes Buffy so interesting – Angel is in constant danger of loosing his soul and becoming a blood-thirsty killer,  something that he cannot control. So basically, vampires are for real real not for play play in Buffy.}

^{I also like the theme of the strong independent woman that is conveyed with vampire slayers – one girl in all the world with the strength and power to fight the vampires. It is very feministy, without pouring it down your throat. Though Buffy is this amazing fighter of good, she still embodies many of the same fears and insecurities that we all have: boy problems, passing classes, worrying about her future, as well as evil demons attempting to destroy the world and bring about eternal hellfire. Sarah Michelle Gellar is epic in the show full of puns, pithy comments, and beautiful hair styles. Similarly, because I am proud member of the homo-explosion team, I appreciated Joss Whedon presenting images  of same-sex relationships and love within the show. Willow and Tara's relationship on the show represents some of the first depictions of lesbianism on TV – and the best part of it was that they were WITCHES!! So they could be lesbionic with their cats and then cast spells on haters. I really recommend this show to everyone – you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll see the ORIGINAL Bella and Edward relationship, which is hotter, less annoying, and full of more teen angst.}

Reasons Why Buffy is Far Superior to Other Vampire Shows/Movies 

1. Lesbian Witches

2. Lead female character is a strong ass-kicking slayer, instead of a whiney bitch that gets everybody killed including sometimes herself.

3. Vampires are hot and do not glisten in the noon day sun

4. There is more than just vampires in the show to keep it interesting

5. Werewolves are actually werewolves instead of large dogs

6. No such thing as vegetarianism in the vampire world