Los Angeles, CA: Groundbreaking channel Bravo TV is once again pioneering the fine art of reality TV with a new show set to debut this spring. Known for such masterpieces as Tabatha’s Salon Takeover, Top Chef All-Stars, and The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Beverly Hills, and New York, Bravo TV is certainly a leader in quality television; Project Bengay stands to be their greatest contribution to television yet. A spin-off of the already successful hit Project Runway, Project Bengay will follow the same basic premise except that the minimum age of contestants will be 55.

Pop culturalist and blogger Princeton Aarons applauds Bravo TV for their risk taking outlook. “It makes perfect sense. This is one of the last untapped communities in reality television. The show has a fresh perspective with an already pre-established fan base”.  Given the success of D-List celebrity Kathy Griffin's mother Maggie Griffin, this should come as no surprise. The elderly, and often drunk off of box wine, mother of the ginger comedian has become wildly successful after her appearance on the show. Dr. Parker Thomas, leading researcher at UCLA in TV/Film Studies, predicted this turn in focus to the elderly. “Audiences have become tired with the predictable patterns of drunken adults who sleep around and pregnant bratty teenagers. America is looking for an inside perspective into the golden years of America’s elders”.

Agnes Gladstone, one of the sixteen contestants, is a retired lawyer. After retirement, Gladstone pursued a number of hobbies – cross-stitching, Tae Bo, and archery – but ultimately fell in love with fashion design. “I was often disappointed by the selection at clothing stores. So I began making my own clothes and suddenly all of my girlfriends were asking for a chic comfortable outfit.

The show is rumored to have secured eccentric personality Joan Rivers as host; Rivers only commented that they were still in negotiations. Other suspected hosts for the show include Dame Judi Dench, Blonde, and Betty White. Some of the challenges for the 10 episode season include vintage versus retro, a modern funeral wear outfit, and a red carpet look for Helen Mirren. The show experienced minor setbacks early in the production process when contestants had difficulty remembering the challenges. Bravo's new television show "Project Bengay" is set to premiere March 16th at 6pm Eastern/5pm pacific.

The following is my attempt at fake news, much in the stylings of The Onion. The names, events, and places mentioned in this article are all fictional including Los Angeles. Stay tuned for more daily gossip articles!

Last night I checked another box on my gay bucket list by seeing the brash and fabulous miss Kathy Griffin. My roommate and I decided to get all the dressed up for the occasion hoping that with some glam costumes and some extra glitter in our hair we would garner the attention of Kathy. We show up to the Silver Legacy Casino and attempt to find the theater. Never try to find something in a casino; invariably you will get tired, want to give up, plop down at the penny slots, and have yourself a good time. Eventually we found the expo hall and entered ready for the gay-gay-Liberace-gay experience we were about to have. 

I wasn't quite sure what I expected to find when we entered the hall. I guess I assumed it would be reminiscent of a gay club; disco balls hanging from the ceiling, frolicking gays freaking out that they they are in the same building as Miss Griffin, and more sparkles and glitter than at a Ke$ha concert. What we discovered was a relatively subdued crowd comprised primarily of older straight couples who looked confused, as if they had never heard of Kathy Griffin before. 

All of a sudden the crowd begins to erupt - even though there is nothing happening on stage. Perhaps they believed that if they started cheering loudly that would motivate Kathy to come out. I am never sure why people do that. After a while, the ginger comedian took the stage. She started the show off with her usual opening wanting to know where all of her gays are at. It was at that moment that a smattering of gays stood up and started clapping and cheering. This dismal display of support had me wondering; where are all of the gays at? We were the only gays in our section which made my obvious drag queenness that more apparent. 

Kathy Griffin delivered an incredible two-hour set full of personal anecdotes of Paula Deen stopping by for dinner and stories of her drunken mother. Everything was going great until about halfway through the show when I realized that I probably should not have worn a corset to a comedy show where I was going to be sitting for two hours. Actually I probably should not have wolfed down a double quarter pounder with cheese from McDonalds a half hour before the show. Ah the things that we do and endure in the name of beauty - I must say I was the most fabulously dressed individual in the expo hall. Once again, I had to stare down a few individuals who were leering and give them the "WHAT are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a drag queen out for the night to see the show before?" All in a day's work for a drag queen. 

I did have fantasies of meeting Kathy Griffin, having her absolutely fall in love with me, and asking me to join Team Griffin. Unfortunately that did not happen, but a girl can still dream.