This is part three of three of the profile write up that local writer and instructor J. Damian did about me. This last section details my life as it is now in Reno with managing an improv comedy troupe, hosting a burlesque show, and living life as a drag queen in the World's Biggest Little City. Let us know what you think about the write-up, for J. Damian is using this profile as base to complete the larger project of Memoirs of a Drag Queen - the true story of a Midwestern queen on her journey to fame.

**********

Sure Chris could be funny and entertaining, but one evening he was called upon to create something more.  During Freshman year, when encouraged by friends to perform in a drag show, Chris let go of any inhibition and went all out with makeup and costuming and became a “hot, slightly mannish mess.”  This was Vanna Devine, a platinum blonde that danced around a little awkwardly, his first creation.  Chris had studied Madonna’s “Vogue” video, and for the show mimicked the choreography while the song played and Vanna lip-synced in front of three hundred people in a University room with wooden floors, the crowd on one side, the performers on the other.  Looking back, Chris says that his performance was amateurish, yet the crowd went nuts.  People fawned over Vanna, gay and straight men alike, not to mention an entourage of women.  “It was a highly gratifying experience.” 

Further, “That’s the thing.  Everyone who does drag loves it, guaranteed.  Shit, I just lip-synced and pranced around stage while people threw money at me, a ridiculous concept.  But it’s the greatest high there is.  You just go.  No thinking, no anything, you are just doing.  In the next instance it’s over, and you don’t know how, but you did it.  And you look down in your bra and there’s fifteen bucks and you’re like, sweet, Mickey D’s tonight.”           

Chris admits to having no formal training in dance, or singing, or theater, or bands and orchestras.  All performances are built upon creativity and fortitude and a now steadily growing experience.  His influences include Tina Turner, Cher, Gladys Knight, Dona Summer, and of course, a Motown heritage instilled by his mother—the Supremes, the Temptations, and Martha Reeves and the Vandellas. 

With Vanna, Chris had envisioned an aristocratic, southern belle personality.  A year later saw the dawn of weaves and the raw, tell-you-what-I-think attitude of Ta-Ta McGinger.  The combination of these eventually birthed Miss Ginger Devine in Junior year.  And one performance would solidify Ginger as Chris’ true drag persona.  Senior year at Hallowqueen, a yearly Madison drag-ball held in a large theatre, Ginger performed “Proud Mary,” now a signature number, and did so in a red flapper dress, now her signature get-up.  The event was written about in the paper, and Chris felt strongly some staying power with Ginger, a feeling that eventually this could turn into something more full time. 

The following year, Ginger Devine, with her long, flowing, nearly scarlet red hair, would host Hallowqueen, get paid work, and expand her talents: singing, doing monologues and dance routines, and creating and acting in sketches.  A more rounded character followed. Chris says that his year one in Texas was enough to set forever a more southern sensibility, and these qualities helped define Vanna and then Ginger.  One must show respect and manners while in her presence.  Ginger is seductive yet formal in introductions, “Well, hello there, pleasure to meet you,” she might say, extending a gloved hand.  Thanks to Ta-Ta, Ginger Devine became sassy, witty, and brutally frank, true to her Detroit roots.  “Shout out to all my peoples on makeup and costumes, I am a drag queen made possible by the kindness of strangers!” 

Chris says, “Ginger is my best qualities personified all of the time.”  Ginger will

say things that Chris might not have the courage to say.  No feelings are withheld.  Honesty flows and pride walks embodied in a red dress.  Here the outer and inner selves become more free-flowing in outlook and projection.  Taking all of the characters and personalities together, the influences of his youth appear in astonishing ways as an adult.       

For Miss Chris Daniels, the adventure of letting go has been a positive experience overall.  When completely uninhibited, we surrender and have fun.  This mentality has kept him happy and seeking new voyages.

Chris spent his final college semester in the Netherlands in Spring, 08, made possible through a gender/sexuality program.  He participated at the RAPS conference, which saw participants from third world countries; subjects discussed were genocide in Africa and language barriers.  These gatherings required a more basic approach to topics in sexuality, given the more antiquated cultures’ notions of gender roles and sexual mores.  Overall Chris’ experiences abroad put life in Madison in perspective.  Often, while in the friendly confines of UW, one forgets the extraordinary privilege of this platform for learning and growth.  While in Europe and abroad, it became glaringly clear how the diversity of experience presented unique challenges and a vastly different worldview. 

The Graduate would return to Madison and stay on for a year of work without classes.  He got hired with the United Council, a group that advocated on behalf of students.  In particular work tended to focus on issues with financial aid, and as Gay Director, Chris could share the benefits of his experience. 

Though in a position to help others, Chris felt the strain of his job while working a truckload of hours, once for 18 days straight.  He had one outlet, a monthly drag show with Davina Deville, but otherwise work had taken over his life.  One year of this proved too much, and somewhat thankfully, the UC chucked him in a roundabout way by eliminating his job function.   At this time, friends had begun planning a mass move to Portland, Oregon.

A crucial juncture obviously presented itself.

In the end conversations with Jes (who had moved to Reno a year prior to be with her brother), would be the clincher to extract Chris from Madison.  “I started this group called the Utility players, and we’re getting big.  Girl, you got to come out to Reno.”

“Strange as it sounded, it sort of felt right,” Chris says, now in the comfort of our house just one block off the River and a short walk from the casinos of downtown.  In four short months, the validation of success proves his past intuition.  The players are gaining popularity and attention from bigger venues.  And as official manager of the troupe, Ginger Devine acquires more prestige on and off the stage.  Currently a local film company records a documentary on the rehearsals and performances of the Utility Players, where Ginger appears in full costume.  

Artistically, Chris’ goal with Ginger is “to show people that drag queens can be more than they think they are.”  Sure they are gorgeous, but Ginger is a comedic and savvy voice that should be expressed. And although being a minority means adversity, it has the potential for greater perseverance and confidence.  “We choose our outlook, and it has to be positive.  Surround yourself with loved ones and do not compromise.”         

Miss Chris over time gets used to adversity.  Competition runs high in gay men.  After “coming out,” typically inhibitions fade with pride, and asserting oneself is a recurring affirmation.  And for gay folk and their friends, “gay” eventually means a lot more than sexual preference.  It means attitude and courage, to fearlessly be your true self.  Sometimes this can become a contest—who can be the “gayest” person in the room, that is.  And when Chris appears with his Zac Effron bag, well, you can’t get much gayer than that. 

Undoubtedly Chris is proud, but, “Mama didn’t raise no fool.  There are situations to Butch-it-up where anti-gay bullshit happens,” he says. 

And so, it’s Chris’ down-to-earth mentality that keeps the fabric his daily life.  And here there is, still, yet one more side of Miss Chris.  He’ll tell you, and I’ve seen this first person, that he’s a homebody.  He prefers seeing friends at their homes more so than in bars.  He’s a movie and TV show watcher (favorites are Sister Act and Grey’s Anatomy).  He’s a coffee drinking, Camel-light smoking, book reading chill dude.

 And behind all the glamour, in four months of being his friend, I’ve seen Chris do a lot of listening.  Got problems?  No matter how boring or irritating (possibly, for him), Chris will lend an attentive ear.  He’s also tremendously good at affirming friends.  He’ll hear your concerns, ask good questions, and then articulate in perfect language what you needed affirming.  As an intelligent sentence former (thanks in part to his Latin), he’ll capture the essence of your worry, or worse, distress, point out the positives, and justify your thought process in way that instantly impresses.  Sometimes I think Chris should set up an office and charge an hourly rate. 

At the end of it all, during off hours, one may find Chris before his PC blasting villains online, or heating chicken nuggets in the microwave while preparing a salad, or reading, meditating, smoking a bowl, watching “Rent,” crushing open a Diet Coke—no matter what, he’ll welcome you with a friendly “Hi, honey.”  As far as the future is concerned he says, “Everything is moving the right direction, and we will not stop until we’re famous.”  And when Ginger does achieves fame, with so much conflicting experience behind, she will strut the stage in red and black and cause a wider audience to expand their hearts and minds.  But before that happens, Miss Christopher Williams already stands in flaming courage and says, “I feel like everything’s prepared me for this moment.”

************ THE END

So this is part two of three for my profile that local Reno writer J.Damian composed about me. The profile follows my journey to Wisconsin for college and the emergence of my drag queen personality - Ginger! Stayed tuned for the last part of the profile and eventual chapters from my memoirs J. Damian has started writing

*******

To survive youth, what would be the next step, the proper college for a budding young man of intelligence and fortitude?  His original plans for the east coast ended in disillusionment when a counselor advised that there were more “friendly” areas in which Chris could enjoy the college experience.  In particular, Madison, with its large gay subculture, sounded more inviting. 

The University of Wisconsin constitutes most of downtown Madison, a city of two hundred thousand plus on an isthmus between two lakes.  When Chris arrived in 2004, he would begin studying Political Science; at this time emotions had been high in gay/lesbian issues.  12 states had recently ratified amendments against gay marriage.  And with Bush winning reelection, a sense of unrest swept over this left leaning environment.  Despite setbacks, college on the whole offered an involved way of life, and Chris had an empty slate.

“People knew about me what I wanted them to.  It was like starting over.” 

There can be too much involvement, though, and due to the long, rigorous nature of campaigns, Chris felt Politics taking over his life.  He switched from Poli-Sci to focus on Women studies, LGBT (Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender) studies, and would eventually choose Psychology for his B.A. (2008). To support himself and get experience, Chris worked in a variety of capacities.  He learned the grinding part of initiative while door-canvassing for political campaigns; he held posts at the LGBT campus center, with a Sex Health Organization, and was an Orientation academic advisor.  On a manageable level, Chris always liked being involved and “making things better.”    

From his curriculum Chris gained the ability to analyze and interpret issues from a critical perspective, and he turned his observations upon the world around him.  For example, South Park street—the Madison ghetto, appeared tame by Detroit standards, and it showed how gritty his upbringing had been.  And Madison, though fairly liberal, offered somehow less diversity.  Sure there was a fun and always exciting social environment that was very gay, but surrounding that was a somewhat homogenous population, ethnicity wise.  Gone were racial conflicts that put opportunity and a suffering economy in perspective.  Here everyone pretty much prospered and lived more comfortable lives.  Chris took advantage, though, and despite less diversity, he met his best friends of today during this time, people who would greatly influence this quintessential man of contrasts, this man of various worlds.

In Madison, Jes and John and Jake would best know him. 

Jes Levatter—philosophy major, a sharp and sassy comedienne.  She turns on the conversation and improv at random, and one easily notices the energy in her dark eyes and inviting grins.  They visited the Netherlands together in 2008, their final college semester.  Jes would later, after Chris spent a post-graduate year working in Madison, call him out to Reno, NV, for (of course) a dual purpose: Chris now manages the Utility Players, a comedy troupe created by Jessica Levity (as goes her stage name); Chris is also Assistant Director of Homeslice Productions, parent company of the troupe.     

John Lawrence—longtime roommate, confidant.  They had watched Roseanne and ordered in and smoked pot and forgot about the world as understanding friends.  Out in the world picture a tall, dark, good looking, suave dresser with a persuasive smile, a person that could convince you of anything. 

Chris says, “Some people think John’s a selfish asshole, but he’s just selective, confident, smart, capable of anything, frank and legitimate in his actions, a person you want to be around.”  These two were frat brothers, traveled Europe, and attended conferences together throughout their early careers.      

            Also sharing the traveling and attending of conferences was Jake Abel.  With womanly curves, this music composer transitions easily into queen “Davina Deville,” with her big lips and boobs. Jake would eventually help Chris find Ginger Devine.  Jake/Davina would push Chris/Ginger to hone her performing abilities—singing, dancing, makeup and costumes—in all aspects. 

Collectively Chris’ friends have helped shape him into a comedic, entertaining, and creative person.  While practicing regularly with the Utility Players and during off hours, Chris invents a variety of characters and speaks in alternate voices.  For your viewing pleasure, he and Jes might perform a skit of theirs called “Coffee and Bars,” where Coffee Ann (Jes) and Patti Tart (Chris) gab in Minnesotan accents (Oh Yahh, and Don’t-cha knoow)  about the purity of their recipes.  Patti Tart, austere creator of the Lemon Bar, will discuss secrets and the status of her relationship to Mr. Pop Tart.  Another character—Ta-Ta (spawned from a drag persona, an expert in street lingo) —pronounces every “you” as “choo,” and every “hello” as “chello.”  Chris will hop into character at the proper interval and say, “No, no, Choo think that choo can just come in here and tell me what choo want me to do?—Choo must be crazy!”  The ultimate character for Chris, though he never speaks and is only referred to, would be “Chip,” his dream personal assistant when legitimate enough to have one.  He says, “Hello? Chip!  Where’s Chip?  I need a Diet Coke in front of me.  Chip!”  With a variety of performers as friends and sharing that inspiration, Chris feels, “My life is one big TV show. I’m just waiting for it to get picked up.”  The range of influence upon him shows how his personality of various opposites only augmented while away at college.

*********** TO BE CONTINUED***************

J. Damian, an English instructor and local writer in town, wrote a profile on me and my other half Chris. What started out as a simple assignment for a class has turned into a lengthy and indepth project. I had always had the idea/dream of publishing a book of stories about the ridiculousness of life as a big, gay, ginger, drag queen. Here is the first part of the profile that J. Damian wrote up about me. This profile is serving as a base and starting point for a larger project. The author and I are going to sit down over the next few months and record stories of mine from going shopping for a drag queen and attending a sex conference in Holland to hosting a burlesque show and managing a comedy troupe. Stayed tuned for the final two parts of the profile as well as chapters from the book as they come. Don't worry the names have been changed to protect the innocent ... as well as the guilty ;)  I hope you all enjoy it!!

J. Damian

PO Box 643, Reno, NV, 89504

(702) 277-7166

wrtrjdamian@yahoo.com

Miss Christopher

[*Some names have been changed.]

With a head of fire Christopher Williams came into existence on a Thursday in May, 1986, in Lousiville, Texas.  Red-orange hair, smooth and fine, curly at their ends, remains on the now 23 year old; and this fire spreads over his personality: “I can not be helpin’ it if certain people are offended and accosted by the flames of my faggotry,” he says, while sitting on the couch, clutching his Zac Effron bag. 

Currently in Reno, Nevada—Jes, one of his Best Friends Forever, crinkles her eyebrows, adjusts her glasses and says, “He’s my pot smoking, chicken nugget eating, world of warcraft playing, multitasking drag queen roommate.”  Chris becomes Miss Ginger Devine on shows nights, but for this interview held in our living room, Chris Williams comes out. 

Chris and Jes and I live here, so it’s a very informal session happening amidst our comfortable block arrangement of couches, chairs, tables, shelves, books, and computers.  Jes and I have been together four months; I’ve known Chris for five, and his story is the unique outcome of a life influenced by the most various forces.  As a proper Gemini, Chris would not only embody but redefine the meaning behind “a man of contrasts.”      

            In his first year, the Williams family moved out of the Dallas suburbs northerly to Farmington Hills, MI, a suburb of Detroit.  His father went to work for his father, a general contractor of glasswork—shower panes, in addition to several other trades.  As a boy Chris accompanied his father to jobsites and viewed the process of construction—how things once non-existent or skeletal became a whole.  They drained lakes, cleaned warehouses, did electrical work and caulking and roofing jobs.  Watching architecture and design in process was a part of Chris’ early years. 

            At school and elsewhere he was a social butterfly, an extroverted youth, participating willingly on jobs and in extracurricular activities like soccer.  It was here he first felt the stirrings of affection for his own sex. 

“I always knew, you know,” Chris says, leaning back on the living room couch, wearing his hoodie, pajama pants, and UW Badger crocs.  “I mean, I was always the Pink Ranger or Storm when we played X-Men as kids.  With the girls I played House and Barbies.  Gay, gay, gay,” he says, pointing in the air.  “It wasn’t until the sixth grade when someone explained to me what gay was.  At this moment, I understood two things, one, that I was gay, and two, that this was something I had to hide.” 

He became self conscious of how his voice sounded; he watched TV shows like Baywatch, and hung posters of Sarah Michelle Gellar on his bedroom walls.  Terribly worried then, but laughing now, Chris admits these attempts were transparent. 

“Everybody knew, I’m sure, even though I didn’t tell anyone and tried to hide it, poorly, that is.” 

Imagine a young kid made of porcelain skin with the blatant contrast of fiery hair walking around trying to play up his more masculine qualities.  Surrounding him was the Detroit metro area, a widely diverse populous scattered over the arbor fields of Michigan.  But perhaps this helped him fit right in as someone with a noticeable presence. 

School was no exception, it was a private and well supplied  school, a Pre-K-12^th grade institution.  Here was an interesting juxtaposition.  Wayne County (which contains Detroit), known for areas torn apart with abandoned homes and scattered, nearly uncontrollable crime in its wake—sits directly next to Oakland County, one of the wealthiest in the US.  Here rests the college prepatory school and Farmington Hills.  So Chris came under two major influences: facing the challenges of diversity and class resentment, and then the largely conservative folks who represented old money.  Racism and discrimination were sometimes in your face, and the danger behind such conflict was not a distant reality.  Gang shootings occurred at concerts and other public areas.  Fear also became more widespread with the collapse of the auto industry and therefore the local economy, and when opportunity is desperate in America, there will be crime.  Chris remembers that during his teen years, while driving to work or to see friends, witnessing the reality of withered homes and run-down lives; you pass a street corner where someone had been shot and found dead the night before.

Throughout it all, Chris learned to take advantage of good opportunities and influences.  The Day School not only offered specialized instruction, their clubs took trips to Disneyworld, Europe, and a senior sojourn to Hawaii for a Diversity conference.  His parents had their own knowledge to impart also.  Joy, his mother, professor of Archaeology at Michigan State and expert practitioner of Tai Chi and massage therapy, possessed a generous store of knowledge; Matthew, his father, was savvy and read novels every two days, did crosswords religiously in the mornings, and had the resolving energy of seeing projects to completion.  With every parental relationship though, there is some resistance. 

“My father knew lots of things, but it’s that kind of random, useless knowledge that is generally pointless and serves no purpose and is fed to their children at random intervals.”  Here the reflecting son opens a Diet Coke and takes a sip.

Chris would develop his own flare for words, for the dramatic speech, and for the love of language.  Senior year he would tutor Latin, “the most beautiful language in the world.”  Latin is a root language for many others, and for Chris, this study vastly improved his English vocabulary. With more answers one sees the variety of forces shaping this inevitable being of contrast.   

Though Chris enjoyed his education, his personal life during these years was anything but free-flowing.  After years of silence and cover-ups, Chris had found the courage in sophomore year to “come out” to his neighborhood friend Trudy over the phone about his secret relationship with tennis classmate Jason.  That year would prove a greater trial, maintaining secrecy with his family who had been enduring a divorce.  His older sister and only sibling also had gone away to Hillsdale college in rural Michigan.  Feeling somewhat lost, Chris found comfort in being who he really was around friends, and during Senior year, Chris mustered whatever it took and told his mother.  He recalls, “It was great; we both cried just like in a lifetime movie.” 

On a visit to Hillsdale that same year, while riding in her car, Chris and his sister “came out” to each other.   Today their relationship is better than ever, given how “coming out” is an act of truth and courage; and from then on, gay men and women find it easier to be the people they want to be.  Gradually the fear drops away and is replaced with drive.  Despite these positives, some plateaus can be unreachable, as communication lacks between Chris and his father still.  So in this instance, especially, we see the divisions creating contrast. 

Brief tangent—not just those with strongly conflicting influences or personalities feel the tug of contrast.  Often within us all, there are two selves: the outer (projection, appearance) and inner (reflection, thought process), and sometimes they are in conflict.  Perhaps we have an idea who we’d like to be in certain situations, yet for some reason blockage interrupts that progression.  Not always, just sometimes.  Along the same lines, certain thoughts we reserve for ourselves and don’t share them.  Balancing all this can be trickier for minorities, when standards of “normal” exist as pressures everywhere.     

******* TO BE CONTINUED**********