I feel this past Halloween weekend, I fulfilled a dream of mine. I have had this dream ever since I saw the iconic Halloween cult classic film, Hocus Pocus. Ever since I saw the Sanderson Sisters bewitch the adults of Salem with their fabulous rendition of "I've Put a Spell on You", I have dreamed of one day dressing up as the Sanderson Sisters for Halloween. I remember sharing this dream with other gay male friends of mine but for one reason or another - usually because a) how would we even begin to construct such memorable costumes and b) no one wanted to be Mary Sanderson aka , the fat one - the plan did not pan out. 

This year, my friend and fellow Hocus Pocus enthusiast, Franz asked if I would help him achieve his dream of going as the Sanderson Sisters for Halloween. I gay gasped at the thought and then died when he told me he would take care of all of the costumes - all I had to provide was shoes. I was chosen to be the hilarious Mary Sanderson; she goes around barking and wanting to eat all the time, it works. The costumes were absolutely flawless. By sheer coincidence, I happened to be hosting the QSU drag show. We were able to perform the number as part of the show. I think people shat their pants when they us emerge and perfectly execute the number. I even sang the number with Mary's droopy lip. By the end of the night my face hurt.

After the drag show, we had made plans to go to the Silver Legacy's Erotic Ball, with aspirations of entering the costume contest and winning. I was unaware that it was an "Erotic Ball" upon entertaining, but learned quickly, when I was surrounded by attractive scantly-clad individuals. Everyone wanted to take their photo with us; it was fabulously ridiculous. I felt as if I was some celebrity getting stopped every few moments to take photos with fans. I had no idea that this movie had such a following with people; or at least it was a memorable enough movie that 18 some odd years later people still get the reference. We also played our roles perfectly; we had the mannerisms, facial expressions and tone of voice down. There was only one unfortunate incident that happened. We were having a drink at a restaurant and this rather drunk women who I guess was going as ... a lingerie model ... a lingerie model spilling out of her outfit approached us. She had no idea who we were but, unfortunate for us, bound and determined to figure out who we were. For a while she thought that we were from The Witches and our friend Aaron - who was not in costume - was the fat rat. No matter how much we tried to play off her ineptitude and tell her we were not from Witches, she would not believe us.

When it was time to declare the winner, we learned that we had made the cut for best tandem costume. We awaited in line with the rest of the competition - which included sexy Adam and Eve, sexy Avatar aliens, sexy little Red Riding Hood and Big Bad Wolf. Crap, I thought there is no way that three drag queens in heavy layers of rags and fabric can compete with a sculpted Adonis wearing a g-string with some fur for a costume. When they presented us to the audience, the crowd went absolutely nuts, ushering in as the clear winners. AHHHHH!! Are you kidding me?!?!?!  It was the perfect end to an amazing evening. 

The next day we hiked up our skirts and did the Zombie Crawl. The hightlight of which was going and standing on the vents outside of the Elderado and pretending that we were actually flying through the air. What ... I'm just saying ... wouldn't you?

I'm thrilled that I am able to scratch this off my gay bucket list ;) 

Yesterday, a few of my gay friends and I decided to escape the oppressive desert heat of Reno by retreating into the air-conditioned haven of the movie theater. Shane suggested that we go see Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon, which recently opened this past Wednesday. I immediately went to my source of all cinematic opinions - Rotten Tomatoes - to see how critics and fans alike felt about the 3rd installment of a somewhat crappy series of movies. It was split. Critics thought the movie was atrocious, lacked plot, character development, blah blah blah and fans felt it might have been the best movie thus far out of the group. I'm sorry critics, I am going to have to side with the fans on this one. Not every movie can have the intellectual stimulation of "The King's Speech" or "Inception"; sometimes I just want to robots beat each other up and destroy buildings for two and a half hours. 

The movie in many respects brings the whole story full circle - though I suspect they have a 4th Transformers movie brewing in the back of their minds. We learn that in the final days of the battle between Autobots and Decepticons on Cybertron, a spacecraft containing technology that could have changed the course of the war for the Autobots forever attempted to escape the dying planet. Unfortunately the ship was shot down and incidentally landed on the dark side of the moon. The technology, we come to learn, is a space bridge; a mechanism that would allow large cargo to be transported long distances across the universe. It then becomes a race between the Decepticons and Autobots to see who will obtain and control this technology first. 

While this is going on, we find Sam Witwicky - played by the gorgeous Shia LaBeouf - shacked up with a new girlfriend (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) - who is basically a carbon copy of Megan Fox except blonde and British - attempting to find a job. He cannot find a job - an FBI record will do that - and struggles with his feelings of inadequacy having save the world twice - even received a medal from Obama - but now is just another mundane; a mundane that cannot find a job. He feels left out, as the Autobots have aligned themselves with humanity and are now helping us with our covert missions and operations. The movie is made complete with an impressively talented and comedic cast including John Turturro, Patrick Dempsey, Josh Duhamel, John Malkovich, Tyrese Gibson, Alan Tudyk and Frances McDormand.

So yes .... I cried at multiple points during the movie. I am not necessarily proud of it, especially since Shane at one point in the movie turned to me and said "OMG are you crying?". Call me a humanist, but there is something about the world ending in a major and collassal way that gets me all verklempt. Also, some Autobots got destroyed throughout the movie and it was a very devastating event for me. Also I have been told on numerous occasions that I cry when a grasshopper farts, so apparently it doesn't take much to get the tear ducts flowing for me.

This is definitely one of the summer blockbusters of the year and I recommend everyone to go see this film. The 3-D aspect of the film is absolutely incredible and makes sense for the all of the ridiculous stunts and CGI effects they have throughout the movie. My favorite part of the movie was when I learned that parts of the "post-apocalyptic wasteland" was shot in Detroit, MI and that Michael Bay may have used scenes from "The Island" (also shot in Detroit). Why is it that whenever directors/producers need to find a city that really screams rubble, destruction, and war zone they film in Detroit, MI?

Happy 4th Everyone!

Picture It - a beautiful Saturday afternoon in Reno, Nevada. I am of course celebrating the glorious day by hiding in the confines of my abode. However I decided that I wanted to workout. So I don my workout apparel which includes a pink athletic shirt with matching headband and Ipod headphones and do some cardio on my Gazelle. To keep my mind distracted from the reality of working out, I decide to turn on the TV to find some mindless entertainment. I find that BET is is showing "What's Love Got to Do With It", the story of the one Miss Tina Turner. I gay gasp as the fabulous Angela Bassett beautifully lipsyncs to Miss Turner's "Proud Mary". I really knew that I hit a new level of queeniness when I began crying, as I was working out mind you, as Ike Turner - played by the talented Laurence Fishburne - startsto physically abuse Tina. The level of queeniess was solidified, when during the movie Tina begins to fight back and I start screaming at the screen "Go Tina!! KICK IKE'S ASS! BEAT HIS ASS GIRL!!!"

I was just thankful that no roommates were around to bear witness ...

This week, pre-teens and wannabes across the nation went Coo Coo for Coco Puffs over the release of the first official trailer of "Breaking Dawn" part 1. Audiences witnessed as the preview showed snippets of the wedding between Edward and Bella, the crazy wild sex that they eventually have, and then Bella's pregnancy. Video editors really made the wedding look really dramatic with sharp cuts and tension-filled music playing in the background. The creative think tank of the Twilight Series decided that the one movie was not enough and decided to follow in the steps of Harry Potter and make the final book of the series a two-parter. This is ever so slightly problematic. See, the final book of the widely acclaimed Harry Potter series was some 850 page novel with beautifully woven story lines, deaths, births, battles, etc. It makes perfect sense why that novel should be divided up into two separate parts. However, "Breaking Dawn" is 400 page book of a terribly written series where ... get ready for it ... NOTHING HAPPENS. Prepare as I breakdown for y'all. If you actually like the Twilight Series and want to be surprised as to what happens then read no more.

As the trailer reveals Edward and Bella get married which results in a night of ridiculous crazy animal sex - leaving Bella bruised the next day. Bella is impregnated, although no one is really sure how, for they all thought it to be impossible. The baby grows at an exponential rate so that in the span of a few chapters in a book, Bella's baby goes through its entire gestation period. The baby claws its way through Bella, effectively killing her, and forcing Edward'shand to turn her into a vampire - god Kristen Stewart as an immortal ... eww. Everything is going great until the Volturi - the ancient and stuffy ruling class of vampires - decides the baby is an abomination and they must destroy it. The rest of the book involves both sides amassing their forces - even the werewolves and the vampires play nice for a while to take on thebigger threat - and preparing for the battle to end all battles. Then ... NOTHING HAPPENS. No battle, no fighting, no deaths ... NOT EVEN ONE DEATH!!! An entire football field filled to the brim with supernatural killing machines and NOBODY DIES ... nobody even gets a paper cut. It is the most anti-climatic storyline that I have ever had to suffer through.

So prepare audiences, as the entertainment industry once again attempts to squeeze every nickel and dime from you as they throw another trite movie-going experience our way. Now ... of course I will probably still eventually see these movies ... for closure if nothing else ... but I will most certainly wait until one of my girlfriends or gay guy friends decides to break down and buy it.    

Last night, fellow Utility Player Shane and I decided to have a churl date and see the premiere of the latest in comic book action films - X-Men:First Class. As of late, the Marvel movies have either been a hit or a miss. For example, X-Men Origins: Wolverine still leaves a terrible taste in my mouth every time I mention it whereas Thor made me feel all warm and tingly inside. Erring on the side of caution, we decided to get there ridiculously early to ensure a prime sitting location and noticed that the theater in downtown Reno was packed beyond the telling of it with adolescent teeny-boppers - as we were walking in I noticed a number of them had textbooks sprawled across the seats in a vain attempt to multi-task. I applaud your effort to study for finals while seeing a movie, but come on, you're fooling no one. Not surprisingly, the movie was 95% filled with men, which is so beautiful. Whether you are gay or straight, we all have a desire to see fantastic explosions, inspiring mutant powers, and ridiculously hot people in tight uniforms. So in many respects, X-men will serve as the forum to bridge the gap between straight and gay men.

X-Men: First Class is a breath of fresh air - receiving an impressive score of 86% on RottenTomatoes.com - and is certainly a film that fans can be excited to see. The movie is a creation story; establishing the memorable personas of Professor X - played by James McAvoy - and Magneto - played by the gorgeous Michael Fassbender. Magneto's story begins in Nazi-controlled Poland. When taken from his parents at the concentration camp, Magneto's rage and sorrow consumes him and he shows an impressive display of power. This draws the attention of Nazi researcher Sebastian Shaw - played by Kevin Bacon - who molds Magneto into a perfect weapon and serves as a catalyst for the rest of the story. Juxtaposed to this plot line is the story of Charles Xavier, who befriends a young Mystique, and works to earn his doctorate in genetic mutation research. This movie sets the stage for all the other movies establishing the emergence of mutants into our society, the initial fear and rejection of humans to change and how the "X-Men" can to be. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. I am not as much of a comic book nerd as Shane - who was a little disgruntled by the minute details that the directors and production staff decided to alter. Literally the conversation went as follows:

Ginger: I thought the movie was amazing! I love the storyline and characters, so much better than the last 2 X-Men movies!

Shane: I liked it a lot .... but I didn't love it

Ginger: Why not?

Shane: Well ... Banshee in the original comic books is Irish - I mean they got the Ginger part right, but at that point why not just make him Irish. Darwin was Mexican not Black and that's not how Professor X actually loses his ability to walk ...

Ginger: .... nerd

Here are my top five reasons that you need to see X-Men: First Class

(1) Let's be frank, it's an X-Men movie; we love the characters, the franchise, and the special effects. Most people will go see this movie because it is an X-Men movie ... as they should

(2) If you have seen the other movies you'll appreciate the cameo appearances by other characters and suttle references they make throughout the film.

(3) Kevin Bacon ... I now have another movie to use for 6 degrees of separation

(4) The possible slightly gay relationship between fellow mutants Havok and Darwin ... this might be one of those times where I am reading too much into the movie ... but I read the sub text, I know it's there.

(5) Michael Fassbender, as I previously mentioned, is so ridiculous hot I cannot even handle. Coupled with that, Emma Frost was perhaps the sexiest and fiercest villainess we have had in a while. I have never seen someone pull off so many stylish white outfits or rock so much fur before in my life .... I want to be Emma Frost for Halloween.

Yeah me ... and every other gay man and sorority girl after seeing this movie.

An interesting combination.

This weekend I stepped into the 21st century and purchases myself an IPhone. In the past, I usually purchases the $99 with the $100 mail-in rebate. The phones that typically had a lifespan of 6 months and whose coolest feature is the ability to send and receive text messages. I learned that I was due for an upgrade with Verizon - about damn time, it only took two years of loyalty to often times less than stellar service - and perused my options. There was not much difference between the Droid phones and the IPhone but my Verizon customer representative, the attractive Derek, made a convincing argument that I would be ultimately happier with the IPhone. I was leery at first. In the past, I have been known to rant and rave about IPhones and the annoying people who decided to buy them, I even blogged about my annoyance in the past. However, I realized that my prejudice was narrow-minded, especially when I was holding my beautifully new IPhone in hand, then my perspective shifted ever so slightly. I asked my roommate the other day if it is wrong to be in love with an inanimate object, to find such joy in an IPhone. He unabashedly told me "yes" - he is also the roommate that doesn't have a phone because he feels it is a way for the "man" to subvert us through technology, so he probably was the wrong person to ask.  

Something else that brought joy to my life this weekend was the premiere of Thor. My fellow gay nerd enthusiast and I decided to go see the film featuring the talents of Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Rene Russo, and Anthony Hopkins - I would be lying if I didn't say that the chiseled body of Chris Hemsworth might have served as a huge contributing factor to my wanting to go. Based on Norse Mythology, Thor is the son of Odin - the all father and ruler of Asgard - and is line for the thrown along with his clever and mischievous brother Loki. Thor's rash and selfish with the Ice Giants - the main enemy of our story - forces Odin to banish Thor to the realm of Earth where he must learn to put aside his selfish desires for the good of his people and of mankind. It is there on Earth that he meets Natalie Portman, the energetic yet sometimes annoying scientist, who has magically come into his life to show him the error of his hedonistic tendencies and present him a better way. 

The movie was actually spectacular - not just because Thor truly is the Thunder from Down Under and tended to wear tight leather pants throughout the entirety of the movie. The movie had a believable and authentic storyline, with incredible special effects which served to enhance the overall movie - not simply there to overshadow a lack of plot which tends to happen in other movies. I recommend spending the few extra dollars and seeing the movie in 3D - the graphics in Asgard are stunning.  Make sure you also stay to the end of the credits, for with all Marvel movies, there is a little teaser paving the road for the greatest superhero cinema event of the century; the Avengers movie. Can I just say that I might spontaenously combust the day I go see that movie. Imagine, some of Hollywood's hottest leading men, in ridiculously tight costumes, fighting other men in equally tight-fitting costumes ... I'm just saying

Yesterday afternoon I was eager to see the anticipated New York Times best seller turned Blockbuster hit “I Am Number Four”. I most recently finished the book and looked forward to see the story come to life on the movie screen. Unfortunately, not only did the movie fail to live up to the legacy left by its inspiration, the movie was slightly painful and awkward to sit through. I had a similar sensation when I went to the opening premiere of “Eragon”. Oddly enough, Eragon also begin as a New York Times best seller young adult fantasy novel and the movie too lacked the magic that drew audiences to the book in the first place. I remember convincing a few of my frat brothers – yes once upon a time I was in a fraternity … well a gay one, but none the less – to go see Eragon with me. Skeptical of talking CGI dragons and a dubious storyline, it took a few bribes, tons of begging, and an act of God to even get them into the theater. What ensued then was two hours of sheer embarrassment; I was embarrassed to be watching the movie and embarrassed that I convinced six other people to witness the devastation with me – six people who still haven’t let me forget about it

The movie was in general disappointing and at times boring. Alex Pettyfer plays John Smith, an orphaned alien on the run with his guardian, from a race of killer aliens. Though gorgeous beyond question, Pettyfer lacked any depth or emotional complexity. He spoke in the same monotone voice throughout the majority of the movie. Dianna Argon plays Sarah, the once cheerleader and former girlfriend to the quarterback, who realized her boyfriend and friends were shallow and decides to turn her focus toward photography and a life out of Paradise, Ohio. She played an exact copy of her GLEE character Quinn and brought nothing new nor original to the character. The best parts of the movie involved John’s adorable magically-transforming beagle and the sassy attitude of Number Six. Alex and Dianna’s on-screen romance was stagnant and inauthentic and audiences found themselves chuckling at the obviously clichéd lines. Perhaps that is why Alex and Dianna broke up in real life, no chemistry – that or they were mortified by each other’s on screen performance.    

So I am about to go on a geeky rant about the pitfalls of the movie. If you intend on seeing the movie and wish to be “surprised” then read no further and good luck, perhaps you will have a different interpretation than I.

In the book one of the first appearances of John’s power is a bright light that shines from his hands. Aptly named “Lumen”, meaning light in Latin, this is a typical first Legacy to inherit. Apparently in movie world a power like that translates into freaking laser beams and the ability to re-charge a fallen comrade. Similarly one of the coolest parts of having this perhaps seemingly uncool power is that it made John resistant to heat and fire, which the directors neglected to include in the movie.

Secondly, the Mogadorians in the book are a creepy and incredibly powerful race of super aliens. They were able to take down an entire planet full of people with super powers. In the book, the authors build tension and emphasize the importance of keeping hidden from the Mogs because they are so hard to kill. The movie makes them out to be a band of easily disposed of storm troopers. An epic moment in the book centers on John’s first encounter battling a Mog – a battle that zaps John of all of his strength and nearly kills him. John and the intrepid Number 6 were able to take down all of the bad guys – of which there were about 8 - in a matter of minutes in some sci-fi Rambo action flick. Umm excuse me, if these awful evil super aliens are so easily defeated … why are you running? Also, if you are a Mog and these children could be the key to your downfall, wouldn’t you send your entire army to ensure their demise, not a skeleton crew of idiots?

I understand that movies cannot entirely capture every element of the book, but seriously. Why, when you basically have a script in hand do you feel the need to alter important plot details such as, oh I don’t know, unnecessarily killing one of the main characters for dramatic effect. Henri, John’s grizzly alien protector, is anti-climatically killed during the end of the movie for no good reason. In the book, Henri was a protector who not only raised and loved John as his own son but trained and helped John hone his new powers so that he might one day be strong enough to battle the Mogs. In the movie, John acquired his powers with little or no problems or side effects, received no training on how to control his powers, and Henri served as the generally creepy man who found photos and videos of John on the internet and deleted them – way to cut out about 65% on the novel.

What is most troubling is that, aside from the Harry Potter series, very few teen fantasy novels have successfully translated from the text to the silver screen.  More often than not, directors rely on a hot blonde male lead and dazzling special effects to confuse audiences into thinking the movie is actually good.  Movie adaptations for critically acclaimed teen fantasy novels “City of Bones” – also starring Alex Pettyfer - and “The Hunger Games” are already in production. I just hope that they are even marginally better than “I Am Number Four” and Hollywood does not continue to butcher and distort these popular and loved books. 

Final recommendation is to wait until I Am Number Four arrives at Redbox and watch it then ... and even then approach with caution. If you are looking for answers to life, comedic relief, or a compelling and engaging story, then watch Dogma and forgo this movie experience. 

I finally got around to watching the hilarious and heart-warming cartoon “Despicable Me”.  Sporting the vocal talents of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Julie Andrews, and Will Arnett, “Despicable Me” relates the story of Grade-B internal thief Gru. Responsible for paltry and un-inspiring thefts in the past – the Statue of Liberty from Las Vegas and the Jumbo Screen at Times Square – Gru contrives the greatest heist to date; stealing the moon.  With a team of adorable squeaky minions and an ornery scientist as his aides, Gru sets out to achieve his feat but constantly gets foiled by his rival, the younger and nerdier Vector.  To carry out his plans, he pretends to adopt three foster girls. However his relationship with the children starts to have an effect on him and makes him question what is ultimately important in life. I laughed, I cried, and ultimately peed my pants a little bit.

The movie reminded of the “Evil Overlord List” – a collection of Dos and Don’t s for any would be super villain, overlord, or crime boss. My sister and I had come across the list about ten years ago when we were in our Star Trek: Deep Space Nine/ Babylon 5 craze. She recently reposted the list on facebook and still found the list as hilarious now as I did back then.  Here is a choice few of my favorites – the full list has 100 items – which I think are crucial for success of an evil doer.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary

The full and complete list can be found here. Post your favorites!!

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach

I have no shame in bypassing the Classics section, the New York Times best sellers, and Oprah’s choice of the month in order to make my way to a growing sensation; the young adult/teen sci-fi fantasy section. The Twilight series has certainly sparked a wave of writers tailoring their books to grab the attention of pre-teen (and adult) populations everywhere.

I have noticed a pattern inherent in all of these books. Invariably there are hot people with incredible powers – whether through magic, alien heritage, or supernatural curses – who find themselves in small remote towns that later plays as the stage for an epic war. Most of the time the teenager in question desires one of two things; a break from the mundaity and ordinariness of their miserable, yet privileged, lives or the opposite, a desire to be normal and experience the everyday rituals that we take for granted.  Similarly, the book usually includes a love story sub plot that is often the cause of all the trouble - like some modern day Romeo and Juliet. I rather enjoy these books for there is just enough "human drama" to make it relatable but the majority of the novel is epic battles and displays of incredible powers.

Most recently I have fallen in love with the novel “I Am Number Four”; a four hundred and some page book that I voraciously finished in one day.  The novel relates the story of a planet named Lorien, not unlike our Earth, which was savagely attacked by a race of harbingers known as the Mogadorians. In order preserve the culture and give their people a chance of survival, nine alien children were sent to Earth. They were scattered throughout the world, each given a protector to guide them and develop their powers, so that one day they may reunite, defeat the Mogadorians, and restore life to their once beautiful planet. A clever nuance of the story is that the aliens can only be killed in sequence.The book opens with the death of #3, thus prompting #4 to go into hiding in a small remote Ohio town known as Paradise. Here #4 - also known as John Smith - must develop his supernatural abilities (known as Legacies) before the Mogadorians can track him down and kill him. The Legacies can be anything from invisibility, controlling the elements, creating light, and telekinesis. This series is projected to have 5 more additional novels, and if they are anything like their predecessor, this will surely be the next Harry Potter series of the sci-fi world. What sucks is that fans will have to begrudingly wait until August for the release of the next novel entitled "The Power of Six".

The novel has garnered enough attention that it is about to be released as a major motion picture February 18th. Typically I am leery of books getting converted into movies for they usually fail to meet the expectations of the book lovers. Typically the characters lack authenticity, story lines are dropped, and new elements are added to the movie that was found nowhere in the book. I am actually extremely excited for this release of this movie. Sporting an impressive cast ( Alex Pettyfer, GLEE's Dianna Argon, and Timothy Olyphant), critics have expressed that the movie is an excellent tension-filled adventure that stays very true to the original novel. If nothing else, the movie is going to feature the ridiculously hot Alex Pettyfer - who often gets his clothes burned up in the novel - and the grizzly hotness of Timothy Olyphant, as they battle aliens with really cool powers. It honestly doesn't take much to amuse me these days. Check out the trailer for the movie before.

I cannot take credit for coming up with this. My sister and her girlfriend shared this with me a few weeks ago. while we were watching the Wizard of Oz. They related that if I wanted to hear something funny I should take the first interaction Dorothy has with Glinda and everytime one of them says the word witch I should replace it with lesbian. This is what that conversation would look like:

Glinda: Are you a good lesbian or a bad lesbian?

Dorothy: Who me? I'm not a lesbian at all. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas

Glinda: Oh Well. Is that the lesbian?

Dorothy: Who, Toto? Toto's my dog

Glinda: Oh well, I am a little muttled. The munchkins called me because a new lesbian has just dropped a house on the Wicked Lesbian of the East. And there's the house and here you are and that's all that's left of the Wicked Lesbian of the East. And so what the Munchkins want to know is; are you a good lesbian or a bad lesbian

Dorothy: But I have already told you, I'm not a lesbian at all. Lesbians are old and ugly

Laughter from the Munchkins

Dorothy: What was that?

Glinda: The Munchkins. They are laughing because I am a lesbian. I'm Glinda the Lesbian of the North.

I guess in actually you could take almost any word and put it in there and it would probably be funny. I just love the "lesbians are old and ugly" line - no offense to all of my lovely and beautiful lesbians out there, I love you dearly.