This is going to be me when I eventually become a motherI don't really talk about my family much in the confines of this blog. For the most part, I tend to focus on blogs and entries that are relatively impersonal to myself and the individuals in my life; rants about corrupt politicians, reviews of the latest Blockbuster films, and the extent of my gay gay life are typically the genres I work with. However, I was inspired by a recent conversation I had with my mother, so I felt the need to write.

I was talking to my mother on the phone the other day and she mentioned that she read my blog and has read every single entry ... oh god ... even the ones about my nights of drunken sluttery at the clubs .... oops. Then she mentioned "Oh Chris, your Aunt wanted me to tell you that you accidentally spelled Lewisville incorrectly in the biography on your blog". Wait ... what ... my Aunt now reads my blog. My mother nonvhalantly stated "of course we do, have been for a while, oh and when I saw your father the other day I told him all about your blog. He had no idea, so gave him the address to check it out". Wait, wait, wait .... now you're telling me that my father is potentially reading my blog now ... Hi Mom, Dad, Aunt Barb :)

When I began this blog, I didn't really advertise it to my family. I kept it on the down low, primarily in case I need to poke fun at my family (just kidding, but not really), but also because I didn't think my parents would appreciate or care to know the ridiculous adventures of their 25 year old gay drag queen son, striving for success and fame in the entertainment world. Perhaps I am not giving my parents enough credit and maybe in some respects they are waiting for me to broach the subject with them. Typically when I talk to my parents we discuss my job, improvements each of my parents are making on their respective homes, or my sister. We do not discuss my latest headdress or the ridiculous eye shadow I just got that is going to make me look like a 4th street hooker. For whatever reason, those topics don't come up.  

I think queer people in our society still to this day struggle with which aspects of their life that they are going to share with friends, lovers, employers, and family members. If you grew up in an area where you were closeted about your identity, you spent an exorbitant amount of energy maintaining the lie and ignoring or suppressing your true feelings. I found that even after I came out - and I CAME OUT by giving a speech to 700 people - that it was hard to talk about these facets of my identity and the parts of my life that I held guarded for so long. Both of my parents know that I am gay - and a drag queen as I came to learn later - but there is still something that holds me back from full disclosure. For so long you don't have the conversation with your parents because you fear their reaction; well now I am 25, a self-sufficient independent woman of the 21st century, and yet I still find myself paralyzed in conversation. I am blessed that all my parents want out of life for me is to be happy, and I can decide for myself, what that looks like.

So now my entire family are fans of my blog, which is completely awesome, however now I am going to be a little more cognizant of my entries in the future. A girl has to keep some mystery about her and like I said, I don't need to have my mother know that sometimes I find myself ass up in strange locations not really quite sure how I got there ... or something like that.