Last night, I got all dolled up and headed over to Bruka Theater for their preview of Richard III. It has been about a month exactly since The Buttcracker closed & since I have returned to Bruka. I absolutely loved that I was able to walk in - for free - with the press to enjoy a first-time glance at the production - I felt extremely posh and "with it". Though I had never seen the production and knew very little about the storyline, I was excited to see Bruka's interpretation of the piece. A modern day mob story is the theme for Richard III. Instead of seeking the throne, Richard aims to become the godfather of the land through manipulation, corruption, and murder - ya know, fun stuff. I appreciated the more modern interpretation. I thought the cast did a brilliant production and seeing my friend Jamie in a nun's habit will forever burned into my membrane.

The only thing that was a little confusing was that I didn't realize that Richard III is supposed to be ugly or deformed in some manner, so when Richard came out on stage I was continually distracted by his large hump threatening to burst through his suit. It wasn't until after the show did someone fill me in on the fake hump. Oops ......my bad.

While I was watching the show and noticing the body count invariably getting higher and higher as the scenes progressed, I wondered to myself; Does anyone survive a Shakespearean tragedy and if so, how did those brave few manage to survive to the end. So I thought I would share my list of ways to survive should you ever find yourself in a Shakespearian tragedy:

(1) Don't be of any importance to the plot line or hold a title in the show - ideally try to be a police office; everyone is typically too busy killing each other to notice the police.

(2) Don't be the heir to any throne - should you find yourself next in line for the throne abdicate your title and retire to Boca Raton. It will just be easier that way

(3) If any bajiggity disgruntled queen or dying comrade begins an epic monologue that ultimately concludes in a curse, high-tail your ass out of there. For curses in a Shakespearean play not only comes true but pretty much dictates the rest of the story.

(4) Don't go crazy ... Ophelia ... enough said

(5) Don't fall in love - it will usually be unrequited, devastating, or ultimately result in your death.

(6) Especially don't go crazy with love

(7) Don't seek revenge, it will never end well for you ... aka the entire cast of Richard III

(8) Don't kill anybody, everyone is related and Karma is a bitch.

(9) Never have children. Children will betray you, attempt to steal your thorne, or get themselves captured and are used as ransom against you.

(10) Never rely on a messager, just deliver the damn message yourself. Without fail the messager will be killed, delayed, or betray you in the end.

I don't know how you would ever find yourself in such a situation but if you do here are some sure-fire ways to make sure you live through that final monologue - which is oddly enough usually delivered by the cops. Also, if you are looking for a fantastic show and a little bit of culture then make sure that you do not miss Bruka's production of Richard III