The Utility Players had another fantastic improv show this past Friday. Though we were one player down for the show, we came out Friday night and delivered a fantastic show. One of my favorite moments of the evening was playing an improv game known as "Soap Opera" - we aptly renamed the game as Gays Of Our Lives. In this game, Shane and I are giving an object, a situation you wouldn't typically find two roommates arguing over, or a relationship to begin the scene. From that moment on, it becomes a drama-off between Shane and I to see who can take the scene to a more ridiculous place and be the most dramatic throughout the scene. For Friday's run of the game, the audience game us the suggestion "the longest fingernail" to mold and shape the scene with; check out the video below.

Often you are so wrapped up in the moment of the scene, you barely remember what you said and did during an improv scene, so it is kind of nice to see a playback. Producer, Jessica Levity, pulled me aside after the show. In awe of Gays of Our Lives, Jessica asked me what was going through my head during this game. It's a rather odd question isn't it? What is actually going through my head? Most of the time I envision myself as chessmaster, anticipating the moves of my scene partner and holding the multitude of potentialities in my head of where the scene could possibly go. However, in actuality there is often very little advance thinking that goes into developing an improv scene. Circumstances are always changing.  Most of the time, scenes require quick responses as not to give the appearance of "dead space" or that one of your scene partners is "lost" in the game. It seems as though you have a "5 second" window. Pauses up to 5 seconds can be played off as dramatic pauses,a moment to hold for audience laughter, etc. However, once you pass the 5 second marker, you are entering the space of over-thinking the scene and trying to think of the "perfect" thing to say.

When my producer asked me the question this was the best answer that I could come up:

"All of a sudden Ian pops into the scene to play the evil Stefano - reminiscent of Days of Our Lives. Suddenly I think to myself (1) Why did Ian's character just show up in the scene - there has to be some justification. So I came up with the idea of him waiting in the car (somehow I always think it is funny that someone is waiting in the car for you) (2) I didn't want to just say car - too easy - so the first ridiculous car name that came into my head was a Winnebago and I sort of rolled with it. Then suddenly everything built from that moment - my relationship with Stefano, a new conflict to cause discord between Shane and myself, and suddenly a third character to add their own comedic talent to the mix. Most of the time though, I'm thinking, 'Don't Fuck it Up!' more than anything else. "

When I first stepped onto the plane and identified you as one of my people I was overjoyed. Thoroughly amused by your stories of disgruntled passengers and their futile attempts to bring 8 bags of luggage on a flight, I thought we would be the best of friends. I assumed we would mutually gush over our love of Diet Coke – which would prompt you to give me the whole can instead of the regulation cup – and discuss Lady Gaga’s new outfit choices.

Instead, you turned out to be a mean sassy gay, instead a fun-loving sassy gay. Partway through the flight, I had to go to the bathroom. Though the fasten-seatbelt light was on, I saw numerous individuals get up and flit about the cabin – some even had the audacity to open an overhead luggage bin. I assumed because they committed such acts without even a single word of reproach from you that it was permissible for me to get up and travel the two rows to the back of the airplane to use the bathroom. I didn’t even get all the way out of my seat when you pulled out your sassy judgmental finger, pointed at me, and told me that I am not allowed to get up and that I need to sit back down.  

Ummmm Squeeze Me? In the immortal words of the one miss Brenda Meeks “Umm I paid my money like everybody else up in here, you don’t OWN the theatre”.  I don’t understand where the sudden hateration came from Sassy Gay US Airways Flight Attendant, but it was not appreciated. I understand that I may have been violating federal regulations by getting up, but that is no reason to get all bigigidy in my face. At this point sir I had been traveling for 6 hours and spent $400 on the ticket so at the very least address me in a respectful and appropriate tone.

So I did the only thing that I could do. I waited until you broke out your beverage cart and traversed the aisles to the front of the plane, and then I escaped my seat, and very flamboyantly and sassily walked my ass to the bathroom. In the future, try not to suck at life so hard, and maybe I will not have to defy you in such an obvious manner.  

Love Ginger

 P.S. Could you inform your compatriot to please not run into my elbows every time she passed by my seat. It was rude, unnecessary, and partially done on purpose I believe. Kthanksbye