This week, pre-teens and wannabes across the nation went Coo Coo for Coco Puffs over the release of the first official trailer of "Breaking Dawn" part 1. Audiences witnessed as the preview showed snippets of the wedding between Edward and Bella, the crazy wild sex that they eventually have, and then Bella's pregnancy. Video editors really made the wedding look really dramatic with sharp cuts and tension-filled music playing in the background. The creative think tank of the Twilight Series decided that the one movie was not enough and decided to follow in the steps of Harry Potter and make the final book of the series a two-parter. This is ever so slightly problematic. See, the final book of the widely acclaimed Harry Potter series was some 850 page novel with beautifully woven story lines, deaths, births, battles, etc. It makes perfect sense why that novel should be divided up into two separate parts. However, "Breaking Dawn" is 400 page book of a terribly written series where ... get ready for it ... NOTHING HAPPENS. Prepare as I breakdown for y'all. If you actually like the Twilight Series and want to be surprised as to what happens then read no more.

As the trailer reveals Edward and Bella get married which results in a night of ridiculous crazy animal sex - leaving Bella bruised the next day. Bella is impregnated, although no one is really sure how, for they all thought it to be impossible. The baby grows at an exponential rate so that in the span of a few chapters in a book, Bella's baby goes through its entire gestation period. The baby claws its way through Bella, effectively killing her, and forcing Edward'shand to turn her into a vampire - god Kristen Stewart as an immortal ... eww. Everything is going great until the Volturi - the ancient and stuffy ruling class of vampires - decides the baby is an abomination and they must destroy it. The rest of the book involves both sides amassing their forces - even the werewolves and the vampires play nice for a while to take on thebigger threat - and preparing for the battle to end all battles. Then ... NOTHING HAPPENS. No battle, no fighting, no deaths ... NOT EVEN ONE DEATH!!! An entire football field filled to the brim with supernatural killing machines and NOBODY DIES ... nobody even gets a paper cut. It is the most anti-climatic storyline that I have ever had to suffer through.

So prepare audiences, as the entertainment industry once again attempts to squeeze every nickel and dime from you as they throw another trite movie-going experience our way. Now ... of course I will probably still eventually see these movies ... for closure if nothing else ... but I will most certainly wait until one of my girlfriends or gay guy friends decides to break down and buy it.    

... and by generally, I mean extremely ...

I thank my friend Carly for this one. It is an edited video of all of the times that Kristen Stewart demonstrated a stellar conveyance of emotion by sighing, breathing heavily, clicking, or doing any other sort of grunting sounds, in the first Twilight movie. They mashed it all together and the end result is a pretty convincing portrayal of just how bad an actress Kristen Stewart actually is.

I remember that one of the only movies that I liked Kristen Stewart in was Panic Room. After closer analysis, I realized that I enjoyed her performance because she more or less didn't do anything throughout the entire movie. The weight of carrying the movie was left squarely on the shoulders of Jodie Foster.

So, if you also have vile feelings toward Kristen Stewart and question her so called "acting abilities" enjoy the video. If you are a Kristen Stewart fan ... I'm truly sorry .... watch the video anyway ... and come to learn like the rest us that Santa Claus is not in fact real.

I have really been struggling to find a new show to get addicted to. At the moment Dexter and True Blood are in their off seasons. Project Runway has started a brand new season which I of course am going to watch religiously and Grey's Anatomy is finishing up their season, but that is only two hours of week, not even enough to satisfy my TV junkiness.

So I decided to gamble a little bit and try a completely new show. I, like many of the preteens and gay men of America, am addicted to the whole vampire craze/sensation. Mine started when I was first introduced to Buffy the Vampire Slayer then worked its way to Interview with the Vampire, Angel, The Underworld Series, True Blood Series, and yes even Twilight. There is something about a dark and mysterious gentlemen caller totally obsessed and devoted to me with supernatural abilities that just sends me all atwitter. So I heard a little bit about Vampire Diaries and decided to see what it was all about. I knew that it was from the creators of Dawson's Creek - SWEET - so I knew there would be enough teen against to satisfy me. I also knew that Paul Wesley [Everwood, Army Wives] was in the show so if nothing else I would have something pretty to stare at for forty minutes. Little fun fact about this show; apparently the premiere episode of the show had 4.84 million viewers in the US making it the most watched series premiere show in CW history - damn.

Addicted may be too strong of a word to describe my feelings toward this show but I am definitely hooked and interested. Vampire Diaries follows the story of Elena - a high school student who recently lost her parents to a car accident a few months prior. At school she meets new student Stefan - hot, charming, brooding vampire - who has come back to hometown to try to integrate himself into human life. It can never be that easy, so Stefan's brother - Damian - drops in to make his brother's afterlife general unpleasant and unbearable. I am only two episodes in so I can't make a complete analysis of the show but I totally recommend it. The reason why I don't like Twilight - although I have the tastes of a gay preteen so I will read/watch it - is that I find all of the characters totally annoying and Edward Cullen is less dark and mysterious as he is slightly stalkerish. I actually enjoy most of the characters on the show and appreciate them as human beings. Now, Vampire Diaries is not the most engagingly complex series out there nor will you necessarily find the meaning of life hidden within the sub text of the show, but if you are looking for an entertaining show that you could kind of lose yourself in, I totally recommend Vampire Diaries. Check out the official trailer preview for the show below.